I am not me

Feels at least a bit happy as I get to be closer with my colleagues and they even persuade me to join their team building, just like some sort of trips for ice breaking. I'm still considering because I knew I won't work this job for too long so if my relationship with them getting closer and closer, I feel sad to leave the company too. The people there is very nice and friendly but I just don't like that job scope. Somehow, I chat alot with Dickson today and realize that he is actually quite a nice guy. Feels happy to know him as friend. Still, I'm always thinking about that incident and not concentrating when talking on the phone with customers too. Don't know why I feel I'm like so not myself anymore. I became very suspective nowadays and the self esteem on me is very low too. Although everything is settle but the hurt in me is still not recover yet. I seriously hate this feeling so much and here I'm emo again.

I'm alone

I'm very very very emo now. Why things aren't just going smooth like how it suppose to be- love, friends, job and money?? Why everything and everyone seems to like bullying me?? And how come I emo and I seriously don't know who to talk with and who to find?? I feel like I have been ditched by the whole world. Someone who I trusted him most and as long as he is there for me, regardless of anything that happen to me I will feel at least a warmth in my heart. I will think the God is fair enough for sending you to me but I think he is being so unfair now that he is taking everything from me. Even if its you, you will betray me and leave me.