I am not me

Feels at least a bit happy as I get to be closer with my colleagues and they even persuade me to join their team building, just like some sort of trips for ice breaking. I'm still considering because I knew I won't work this job for too long so if my relationship with them getting closer and closer, I feel sad to leave the company too. The people there is very nice and friendly but I just don't like that job scope. Somehow, I chat alot with Dickson today and realize that he is actually quite a nice guy. Feels happy to know him as friend. Still, I'm always thinking about that incident and not concentrating when talking on the phone with customers too. Don't know why I feel I'm like so not myself anymore. I became very suspective nowadays and the self esteem on me is very low too. Although everything is settle but the hurt in me is still not recover yet. I seriously hate this feeling so much and here I'm emo again.